There Will Be No Mega-Party!

January 29 is my birthday, and as usual, I have a big celebration.

This year, since I am turning 60, I had planned to do the Mega Party. Actually,  I have dreamed of it for years. -When I turn 60, I will invite Venezuelan drummers, a string quartet, magicians to perform tricks, a Brazilian batucada, the guests will dress up with a theme-. I had already thought of several possibilities like "Masquerade," "Your Spirit Animal," "Los 60," etc. but no....

My intuition wouldn't let me send the invitation, and a few weeks ago, I let go of my illusion.

No one wants a mess with the Corona Virus jumping from body to body doing its thing. No, no, no.

But this birthday is very significant for me.

My mom- 20 years old

Sixty years ago, I felt my mother's skin for the first time, and I felt and smelled her body. Today she is 80, and she is still my inspiration. I celebrate her,  who at 20 years old, cute and shy, this girl brought me into the world—her first baby.

Me, 20 years old - w/ Johanna and my mom

Forty years ago, I was the same age as her, 20 years old, but instead of giving birth, I was going to a different country, to a place where I didn't know anyone, another language and another culture. That January 29, I didn't know that I would never live permanently in Chuao again. Traveling through Miami on a flight to San Francisco, I was a combination of fearless daredevil with a Pollyanna attitude. Zero fear, zero worries. My mom told me to call her when I got somewhere safe, and I did!

Me, 36 years old with my kids in my new home.

On January 21, 1998, I was already 36 and had three children. That was 24 years ago already. Something so unpredictable happened that I don't believe it to this day. The mortgage application was approved for a house in San Francisco that, despite being a fixer-upper, I could not afford. In the following years, I worked very hard to keep payments up to date without missing a single one, and I still do. I'm proud of this. It is my home, where I live today, and presently,  my income. This is something to celebrate too.

This year that same house, La Casa Rosada,  turns 107 years old, and I love her. She needs a new roof and a coat of paint, but it's still standing, and it's still the meeting place for family and friends.

Me, as "la vieja" (the old one)

In 2022 as a sexagenarian, I fully accept being called "old." Hahaha. I've reached middle age or whatever, and I am very honored to be on that sixth floor. Hahaha.

* * * 

The mother who brought me into this world is still wise, inspiring me, joyful. She keeps sending me light every day.

* * * 

That brave young woman of 20 still lives in me, forgets my age, and propels me to new ventures and romantic dreams: a language learning online school, a movie about Venezuelan music, a house in the tropics with an ocean view!

* * * 

That determined 36-year-old mom also lives in me, moving my wheels, committed more than ever to the children I raised and now to my four grandchildren. Very exciting!

with Rydr and Indiana

with Didi, Felix and my nephew Carlos Eduardo

* * * 

In 2021 I broke a new barrier - stumbling, but I crossed it. I traversed a fixed limit, immutable and impetuous and impossible-to-cross wall that has been there since my first kiss:

I had never lasted more than seven years in a love relationship. The maximum had been five, married to Michael ( seven of knowing each other). Today, Maurizio and I continue steadily towards our eighth year of back-and-forth. Woo Hoo!

With my side-kick Maurizio

* * * 

This tale brings me to my 60th birthday, January 29, 2022

1.

I did my job raising my three beautiful children with as much dedication as I could. Right now, everything I do is "de ñapa," extra, and it is joyful to live like that.

2.

Every day there is something to be celebrated - I'm not exaggerating; my diary confirms it. I've been celebrating every day for more than 365 days, and anyone who reads my journal will be able to say that I'm still a pathologic optimist. Hahaha

3.

I have learned to soothe myself on demand. It's not magic; it's perspective. But really magical truly!.

It doesn't mean I don't suffer or feel sad or throw tantrums. All this happens to me, but I also have that little guardian angel (as any Catholic good-girl should) who whispers in my ear. Ok, this is entirely untrue. I have a tool that I use: The Eightfold Path. But that is another story.

4.

Happy birthday to me and... we'll do the Mega Party at another time.

Me, an eternal optimist!