"Having kids meant that I had to show up for them the best way I could, every single day"

On how being a mom has enriched my world, ... and yours!

Familia in the 1980's

At 28, I already had three children. I worked as a textile designer from a rented flat on Dolores Street, and I supported our family from my freelancing earnings, with no extra help. Although I always seemed to find the next gig or the next client, I had no certainty, so I lived day to day with a permanent stress mulling in the background. I tell you, it was rough! Nerve-racking!

But on the surface and in the actual day-to-day,  stress was not what transpired at all.  Anyone who knows me can attest to my happy-go-lucky way of being. I attribute the "showing up happy" in big part to the responsibility of being a Mom.

Having kids meant I had to show up for them the best way I could every single day, as much as possible. And if some days this felt like acting, once I got into it, it flowed. Not only did it flow, but it grew and flourished.

Good spirits are a viral condition! My mind always returns to the joy I felt in the simple and not-so-simple moments of life. 

Familia in the 1990's

Making their lunches for school every day, preparing different sandwich flavors so they wouldn't get bored, kissing them good morning, reminding them how very special that day was, and telling them what they could look forward to.  Maybe it was gymnastics, conga, drum set, violin lessons, or just going to Golden Gate Park or to Ocean Beach to play. Perhaps that day I would be volunteering at their school, making embroidered flags for the Chinese New Year parade, or making the kids' wishes come true by designing and building a Halloween costume from scratch, which would take at least a month 😉 Or simply listening to books on tape in front of the fireplace, all four of us lying with pillows on the floor. Being a mom was the highest of my creative endeavors.

Years later, the joys became bigger in size and impact. It may have been waking up at 4 a.m. to take one to rowing practice at Lake Merced, driving 8 hours in one day to go snowboarding in Tahoe just for the day, or not going crazy after my novice driver crashed my new car. 

"Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive," as Johnny Mercer's song points out. I remember today more the enjoyment than the hardship. 

Familia in the 2000's

By the time I was  42, my work had reached a more predictable rhythm. The parenting juggling started to subside. Fewer balls in the air meant I had arrived at some acceptable balance. The kids were then 19, 18, and 15 and well on their way to adulthood, and although at those ages neither of us knew what was coming next, I was certain they were well prepared and ready to tackle life on their own. And so they did!

Familia in the 2020's

Today, it's their turn to approach mid-life: a project manager, nurse van lifer; a preschool teacher, queen of the climbing wall, mother of two teenagers; and a firefighter, ski patrol, restaurant owner, father of two young boys. They are masters at figuring things out. They are healthy and happy and have beautiful relationships. All three are in service to their communities and a gift to those around them. I feel so proud to be their mother.

¡Salud! I celebrate this day by taking some credit and honoring my most significant contribution: being a good mom to a beautiful family!